What I think about self-actualization

I once was obsessed with the concept of self-actualization. This is a state of being that figures at the top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs:



Around Fall of 2006, I delved into self-actualization theory, and became convinced that it would be my path to work-life fulfillment. I kept making inventories of my skills and potentials and would then try to push myself into careers that would satisfy that.

At the time, I had what could have been considered a dream job as a video game designer, a job I felt actualized my skills in design, programming, and the arts. And yet I still wasn't happy. Somehow I was applying the model too narrowly. Only with further introspection did I realize that I really just wanted to be independent.

But I still have always clung to the self-actualization ideal, even before I read about Maslow. I keep thinking, "man, if I could just figure out the proper switch and somehow turn all this inward potential outward, I'd find work-life bliss."

But then I had a thought a few days ago that sort of threw a curve into this thinking:

Your meta-potential is part of your potential
By "meta-potential" I'm referring to the skills you have to actualize your skills. For example, let's say you were born of a really good physical stock, and in middle school, everybody kept saying you could an Olympic athlete. According to Maslow's theory, then, your highest goal should be to fully manifest that potential. However, let's say you don't have the discipline to do all the work-outs. Or let's say your resources are limited because you have to work extra jobs to pay your bills. Or let's say you seem to have trouble working with authority, and therefore always have bad relationships with coaches. So while on some level you do have the potential to be an Olympic athlete, you don't necessarily have the potential to turn that potential into a reality.

I've struggled for so long to turn what I perceive as being my intellectual potential into a reality, and I just can't seem to figure out the best way to do so. And that's always frustrated me, and I think I'm very unhappy because I mythologize self-actualization. For example, some people have what it takes to turn their music talent into pop hits, other people just don't have that sense. Who can blame them. Should one be unhappy and the other happy?