My ideas on how to quiet the mind revolve around this principle:
Any thought you have repeats itself at varying decibel levels. If you're paying attention to your thinking, then your recognition of that thought becomes another thought. If you try to stop your thinking, then that command will carry with it the target thought, further amplifying the echo. For example, George Lakoff in Don't Think of an Elephant, suggests that Nixon shouldn't have said, "I'm not a crook" because it immediately puts the idea of "crook" in people's heads.
This all makes quieting your mind difficult. You can try willful thought-stopping, but you will notice your brain get sore, and in some cases, often the target thought will become stronger. In White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts, Daniel Wegner discusses a study showing that the target thought to suppress almost always gets stronger after an active attempt to suppress it. It's like trying to yell "quiet!" in a library.
I have a method that addresses this. It's called a "net reduction in repetitive thoughts." What you do is alternate between these two methods:
- Active thought-suppression
- Letting yourself have the thought
If you push too much on the first method, you'll just amplify the thought. If you focus too much on the second method you're obsessing. Both methods do cause at least a momentary increase in the thought, but if played right, as a pair, they eventually lead to a net loss of the thought. For example, if you let your mind flow freely and express all the negative thoughts of the day, it will be like airing out the pressure. Or, if you have a mind that's running out of control, and you tell yourself briefly, "I don't like these thoughts," that may put a kink in the thought-train and discourage negativity. Either way, you want to ultimately end up with less repetitive thoughts, or a "net" reduction.
Controlling your thoughts is essential to happiness. Wegner further shows studies correlating depression and a weakened ability to control negative ideation.
So remember this: Sometimes you need to let your mind run out of steam on its own. Other times you need to intervene and gently say halt. Move appropriately between the two, and you'll have a quieter mind.
ocd, principle, relaxation
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donah said on March 13, 2009 11:58 AM
I love the way that you have explained not engaging with the thoughts. I would have never considered putting it that way. I will use this example with my patients. It will be very helpful.thanks so much for sharing.
Philosophistry said on March 13, 2009 12:02 PM
Thanks for the encouragement!
Nat Couropmitree said on March 13, 2009 6:36 PM
I get what you're saying with the balance of the 2 methods and yet trying to end chatter in my head, seems to add to the chatter.One of the ways I have found helpful to decrease chatter is to take time to write it down. I write down what I'm feeling and thinking without judgment. It helps clear my mind. Then I get even clearer by breaking down my thoughts/feelings into what I don't want, what I do want and how I want to feel instead. I wrote an article about this process which I call "The Chatter Stopper."http://www.prosperitylighthouse.com/blog/5-steps-to-getting-beyond-procrastination-and-overwhelm/