Dale Carnegie, an early-20th-century pioneer in personality development, described a method for delivering censure or criticism to employees. In The Leader in You he suggested that before you criticize a negative fault, make sure you have mentally kept track of three strengths of that employee. This accomplishes a few good things. First, it keeps you honest and objective in your assessment of your employees, ensuring you aren't biased toward pointing out faults. Second, it pushes your management style toward encouraging the strengths of your employees. This is expedient because you can squeeze more from employees by bringing out their positives rather than suppressing their negatives.

This technique has implications beyond business and into your personal life by teaching forgiveness and gratitude.

Before you harbor a grudge or think about lashing out, see if you can come up with three positive traits of the target person.

Like in business management, this process produces several great benefits.

First, it makes it easier to forgive the transgression (should forgiving be the right approach). Second, since the person's negatives are buffered by many more positives, communication takes place more comfortably. Thirdly, this process helps you appreciate your loved ones.

Forgivness and gratitude, as Seligman and MANY others have suggested, are useful traits in obtaining happiness. So observe, analyze, and apply this strategy.